Last month, Dave picked up our marriage license. I gotta say that these past few months have been head-trippy. Like, “Holy smokes! This thing is happening!” And happening soon! I’m gonna try not to choke as I type this… but there are only 39 sleeps til the “Big Day”!
This wedding has been a long time coming, considering how long our engagement has been (a year and a half). As well as how long we’ve been talking about one day getting married (four years). But it’s really blowing my mind that it’s going to be happening next month! We don’t even have furniture! We don’t even have a bed!
In my head, marriage is still just this idea, this distant, future destination. I’m so used to starting sentences with “When we live together…”, where “when” was just this vague point in the future. But now it’s a solid deadline that we’re rushing towards. It only struck me a few weeks ago that I’ll have to leave home. Yes, I live at home with my parents, and I’m 28 years old. But I love it. I love being around my family and seeing them every day. Even if we’re not doing anything, just watching TV or just having dinner. Even if we’re not in the same room, it’s comforting to know that they are there.
Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited to finally start living my “grown-up life” with a husband, my own house, furniture, bills. But it makes me feel nostalgic and old, with a touch of existential sadness, to know that I won’t be living in the same home I grew up in. Or that I won’t see my family as much. Thirty-nine sleeps til the Big Day also means 39 sleeps til I’m not seeing my siblings (and their kids) every weekend, or eating my mom’s food each night. But so it goes.
Sometimes I think I would have moved in with Dave prior to marriage if I had known we’d be dating so long before tying the knot, but then again I am really glad we waited to get married first. I feel like it makes it more special, and this happy strange new life waiting beyond June 16th is truly life-changing, which is what I think starting a marriage should feel like. I could go on about how it will be a brand new feeling to wake up next to him every morning, fall asleep together every night, eat yogourt together before work, him cook dinner, me do laundry, on and on. I’ll just say that not only am I stressed out, confused, but also excited and happy.
